Why me? F my l.

So something just happened to me. Something that I've been wanting for the longest time. And this time, I didn't imagine it or dream it.

So how is it that when something like that happens to you, you can't manage to get it right?

I acted like a complete and utter douche about it. And all I really wanted to do was scream YES at the top of my lungs.
Instead, I made up some lame excuse about how I couldn't, and how I would make it up to him. But I can't make it up to him. He leaves tomorrow.


I just officially broke my own heart.
Why did this happen today? Yesterday, I would've been all over it. But tonight is not good for anyone. This major party is tomorrow, and I have a house to clean. But I don't want to clean. I want to be wearing pretty heels and a dress and laughing my ass off. But I'm not.

Because apparently, I am a douche. And a big one at that.