Why me? F my l.

So something just happened to me. Something that I've been wanting for the longest time. And this time, I didn't imagine it or dream it.

So how is it that when something like that happens to you, you can't manage to get it right?

I acted like a complete and utter douche about it. And all I really wanted to do was scream YES at the top of my lungs.
Instead, I made up some lame excuse about how I couldn't, and how I would make it up to him. But I can't make it up to him. He leaves tomorrow.


I just officially broke my own heart.
Why did this happen today? Yesterday, I would've been all over it. But tonight is not good for anyone. This major party is tomorrow, and I have a house to clean. But I don't want to clean. I want to be wearing pretty heels and a dress and laughing my ass off. But I'm not.

Because apparently, I am a douche. And a big one at that.

Umm...

So here's the deal with my so-called "cra-zay" life. I haven't really done anything on that list yet. I partially cleaned my room, but other than that, nothing is done. I still need shoes for tomorrow night (yikes!) and Sam and I are going to have to go to Kohl's sort of last minute tomorrow to pick up the jewelry and such.

I'm going to be baking by myself tomorrow now, which I guess is better. Even though it would've been SO much fun to bake with Liz, I feel like I'll get it done faster if I do it myself.

Those invites never got finished and therefore never went out via email...oops. I think I'll try to finish them and print them out tonight so people can see them tomorrow at the party...

Speaking of tomorrow, there's still a LOT of cleaning that has to be done in this house. My room needs to be finished, the basement needs to be taken care of and the upstairs needs some work as well. I have NO idea what we're doing for food...okay maybe I do. I've decided that for a beverage at a Twilight party, nothing is more appropriate than something that looks like blood. So I'm thinking Hawaiian Punch...it's more red than cranberry juice and it tastes yummy! And then I'm thinking mushroom ravioli (for Bella, of course)...and a Jack's pizza for Steven because he doesn't eat normal food...lol.

Oh, and pink cake and Team cupcakes for after we come home! Speaking of the cupcakes, I still have to figure out how the graphic on those is going to look...

Today I had a fantastic and very unproductive day with Liz. We ate sushi and ran around MOA for a bit. Tomorrow the hell begins...

1. I wake up. I freak out because I realize what day it is. Then I sort of panic because there's still a lot left to do.
2. First things first -- a shower.
3. All of the baking has to get done. Cupcakes and the overly obnoxious pink cake.
4. Finish cleaning the house. Everywhere...lol.
   
   Hopefully here, there'll be a little down time before Sam gets to the house.
   
5. When Sam does get to the house, we'll have a little less than 2 hours to run to Kohl's , Rosedale Mall and possibly Target. Sam and I both still need shoes, so that's why we're going to the mall. We already looked at Kohl's...and nothing.
6. After the shoes are found, and we get what we need from Target (if we actually have to go -- and that'll only happen if I don't go tonight) it's a race back to the house to have everything ready by the time people are supposed to get here at 5. I think I'm going to change the time to 5:30 though, just to be on the safe side.
7. After that, it's going to be a crazy night. One that won't have a schedule...lol. Too crazy for that...but a LOT of fun.

And I just did something that made me feel like a complete and utter retard. Because I don't know how long I've waited for it to happen. And when it did happen, I said no. Aw, hell. FML.

Cra-zay.

That seems to be my life right now. I have so much to get done within the next couple of days. And then after that, I have so much other stuff to get done within that week. Wow. It's times like these that make me want to say "F my l" but then I don't because I know that all of the hell leading up to these weekends is going to make it well worth it.

School is driving me nuts (and now I'll officially admit that). My spring break isn't until the end of this month, but I look at that in a positive way because it means that I won't have any homework during Sam's birthday weekend.

If you think I'm just complaining because I'm lazy, you're only half right. So to make you understand, here's what I have to do in these cra-zay upcoming weeks.

• Invite for the Twilight party this upcoming weekend has to be finished and sent out -- TODAY. Yikes.
• The entire house has to be clean by Friday. Actually, it probably has to be clean by Thursday, and that's before I leave to go have sushi with Liz at MOA.
• Thursday is probably going to be a Target run for everything party related. Decorations, food and other fun stuff needs to get to the house.
• I'm still contemplating the costume. And sometime this week, if at all possible, I need to test out the Alice hair theory.
• Friday -- as much as it's going to be probably the BEST DAY EVER -- is going to be a hell day. Costume has to be figured out then. Liz is (hopefully) coming over to help me bake. Decorations have to go up. Everything has to be clean. I have to remember to hook up the DVD player so we can actually watch the movie when we get back to the house. For me, Friday is SO getting a schedule. I'm not usually one to stay on time or on task, but it needs to happen on Friday. Nothing can go wrong because this day and night and party has to be perfect. It just has to be.
• Saturday still needs plans. I have absolutely no idea what's happening yet. I thought about a trip to MOA, but since Liz and I are heading out there on Thursday, I have no idea if we're going again. But I'm sure that we'll figure it out. We never really plan stuff anyway.

I haven't even gotten to the part about Sam's birthday weekend. Frankly, it's because we don't really know what's going on yet. We were supposed to go see Adventureland on Friday the 27th, but the release date got pushed back a week so that's now a no-go. But I'm sure it'll get figured out eventually, even if it happens to be last minute...

But amidst all of that crazyness, there has been some calm. And by calm, I mean good stuff.

• I WILL have my new Twilight calendar on Tuesday. Because they shipped it on Friday. Considering it was supposed to be released on St. Patrick's Day (which is Tuesday, FYI) and it was out at Borders the other day, it's about time for that new calendar. It's not that I hate the one that I have now -- because I love it. And it took me a LONG time to get it. But it was worth it. This new calendar doesn't become useable until December anyway...lol.
• I still have to order the Director's Notebook. I can't believe I haven't done that yet...wow. That's like the one thing I was overly excited for (except for the DVD of course).
• Sam and I are getting the 3 disc version of Twilight, courtesy of Target. It was supposed to only be available in Canada-land, but then I saw it was at Target too. Score! And it's only costing us $17.99. UNBELIEVABLE. It's awesome.
• Sam and I have had our mittens for a week and a day now. They're actually getting some use because it hasn't exactly been all that warm and sunny around here lately. But I kind of hope that it does get that way. Because I'm really looking forward to ditching my wool coat for something more awesome...

So in summary...

Clean the house. Clean the room. Clean everything. Sushi. MOA. Liz. Friday. Baking. Target. Decorations. Costume. Movie. Calendar. Mittens. Par-tay!

Holy Batman Crap.

I have not blogged in a REALLY long time...I feel like when I do it'll be a frickin' essay. Because A LOT has happened lately...lol. I'm waiting for Steven to come get me so we can start the ALL DAY CULLEN PARTY. It shall be fun. I'll probably have time in a little while to update you guys. I really don't even know where to begin...